Sunday, January 30, 2011

hello mornings

I wouldn't call myself a morning person--especially these days!
Over the last year I've fallen into the habit of staying up late.
Staying up to watch mindless TV, blog, do my nails,
anything, as long as I'm alone. I love the quietness.
I love doing whatever I want!

The problem:
I wake up miserable. cranky. annoyed. exhausted.
My kids are the early to bed, early to rise type.
They rarely sleep past 6:30am.
So you can imagine when they come barreling into my room and
it's still pitch dark outside I'm less than thrilled.
I stumble out of bed, disheveled, with one eye 1/2 open.
{It's a wonder my children aren't terrified to arouse such a creature!}
I fumble to find my glasses and bathrobe, then
I start the walk to the kitchen
to get the coffee brewing--
before getting half way to the kitchen I'm bombarded
"I'm hungry!" " I want dippy eggs!" "Can I have jelly beans?"

"BE QUIET" I shout!
"Give me 10 minutes, please, just 10 minutes."
They always have a look of hurt and confusion on their faces,
as if to say "sorry mommy I was just hungry, that's all"
Ugh. I'm such a failure. I'm a horrible mother.
These poor kids. Why do I do that? Why did I yell?

Umm, the above scenerio is a less than ideal way to start ones day.
Not only did I yell at my kids and make them feel bad,
I filled my mind with horrible words about myself
before I even made it to the kitchen!

A few weeks ago I took a break from my computer {yes, a big deal for me},
to spend time seeking the Lord. I felt like he was wanting to speak with me.
So I turned off the computer and spent lots of time
reading scripture, praying, listening.

In the past when I've sought the Lord in such a diligent way,
he met me in a big way!

Revealing some great truth, or prompting me to do something 'big'..
I was expecting nothing different this time around.
Speak to me Lord!
Reveal some great unknown revelation!
Show me your wonders! Do miracles!

Well he spoke. He actually spoke very clearly. More clearly than usual.
He said two things:
1) Go to bed earlier
2) Wake up earlier and spend time alone with me.

This is the great revelation?
Go to bed earlier?
I was thinking something a little more..uh..spiritual...

I heard these instructions and thought well that will be easy!
At least he didn't say "Move to Africa!"
I went to bed early but as I lay in bed I wondered
what was happening on facebook

I'll just check quick...
2 hours later I've read 3 different blogs, stalked some people on facebook,
and wrote and deleted a blog post of my own.
SO much for going to bed early. Oh well, I'll still get up early.
yeah. right.

SO just 2 days ago I read about a challenge called
Hello Mornings!
The challenge: Start your day off right by waking up before anyone in your house.
Spending time in the Word, praying, listening, worshipping, exercising
and organizing your day before anyone else is stirring.

Today was my first day!
And it was a great way to start off my morning.
When my kids came bursting out of their rooms I had already
spent time praying for them, I was excited to receive their hugs,
and I was ready
for some dippy eggs too:)

I will admit the alarm went off at 5:15am and I may have hit snooze..
then it went off again. I prayed God please help me get up.
OK, Sarah just at least sit up. OK, I can sit up.
I sat up, OK, now put your glasses on...OK,glasses on.
Then I was suddenly overwhelmed...
Oh Lord how am I going to do this FOREVER? I can't do this.
I won't do it tomorrow, why bother today?
I heard him say 'don't worry about tomorrow. Just get up today.'
OK, just get 2 feet on the floor, that's the worst part..
1,2,3! I'M UP! I DID IT!
Once I was out of bed the morning was amazing!
Coffee {in complete silence}, worship music, prayer, journaling!
THAT is the way to start ones day!

"I will seek you in the morning and learn to walk in your ways. Step by step you'll lead me and I will follow you all of my days."

I'm writing this for 3 reasons
1) I'm trying desperately to keep my eyes open! If I nap then
I'll be up late, if I'm up late..well you know..

2) I do not write anything on this blog that I don't 100% believe
or that I don't fully intend to do! In other words it's a kind of accountability. I wrote it, now I need to do it.

3) To encourage you to start your days off right!
You cannot go wrong when you
start your day talking with God.
Asking him to join you in your day.

Asking him to guide your steps for the day.

I'm looking forward to this challenge,
{I might be singing a different tune at 5:15 tomorrow morning}
I can't wait to see how God moves and works in my heart and life
and the life of my family! I think we have some good mornings awaiting us:)

Check out the
challenge for yourself!

Thursday, January 27, 2011

dreamland and reality

OK. Who else has cabin fever?
Who else loathes snow?
Who else finds themselves in a world of daydreams today?

My mental status is questionable today,
so for everyone's sake I've been drifting in and out of dreamland.
I'd love to remain in this dreamland but alas,
the children need fed, chores need done, and snow needs removed.
(thankfully I'm preggo so I get out of the last job for the most part)

I thought I'd let you sneak into my land of dreams
and show you a bit of the reality..

First and foremost I'm dreaming I'm somewhere tropical.
Ahhh, the warm sun on my back, the smell of coconut sunscreen,
frozen drinks, sand, flip-flops, a sun kissed face and sundress.
Yessssssssssss, this. is. the. life...


12 inches of snow.
A 1/4 mile long driveway (on top of a hill)
No four wheel drive.
Trapped with little munchkins who I adore
but who can drive a person to drink when trapped for 48 hours with them.

As I'm trapped with the munchkins I dream of adult conversation!
A dinner party perhaps!?
Fabulous food and wine with fabulous friends!
We talk and laugh with no interruptions from the littles
as we sit in my new fabulous dining room.
It's simple and cozy, welcoming everyone who enters...


Nothing is welcoming about my home right now.
We are surrounded with boxes and bare walls.
Dust bunnies and cobwebs appearing out of nowhere?!
Piles of 'donate/trash/keep' blocking the pathway from the dining room to the kitchen.
Chaos. Disorganization. Filth.
No dinner party here anytime soon..

As I look over the mess
I drift back to dreamland..
In my dream I am
Eating bacon, eggs, sausage and coffee.
I can't quite tell where I am but I feel happy.
I hear giggles, and I feel strong arms wrap around my waist as I pour the coffee.
I feel at ease. I feel loved. I feel at home.


I'm not in dreamland after all.

I can let my mind drift to paradise.
I can dream of my new home.
But reality is where I really want to be.

(i might still dream of that tropical island though..)

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

give me your eyes.

I unfortunately relate to the first part of this video all to well.

Open my eyes Lord.
Give me a heart for your people.
Show me how to love them.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

57 days until my due date!
And it cannot come fast enough.

I know the baby's arrival will bring a whole new set of challenges,
but I'm ready to feel good again!
I'm ready to exercise!
I'm ready to clean the house without having to lay down!
I'm ready to worship at church without getting faint!
{sorry about the worry I caused this embarrassing}
I'm ready to wear high heels and lose the compression stockings!
I'm ready to be a productive citizen of society again!
I'm ready to feel like Sarah again!
Most of all...
I'm ready to meet my beautiful baby boy!

Until then I shall remember..
Good things come to those who mate..I mean wait!:)
Patience is a virtue!
This too shall pass!
Everyday is one day closer to his arrival!
Soon this will all be a distant memory!
It will all be worth it!

57 days to go!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

happy birthday

Andrew Joel

You are an amazing man, Drew.
I am blessed to know you
and I think anyone who knows yo
u would agree.

You have such a quiet, gentle, kind spirit.

Yet I see passion and ambition in your eyes
when you're hard at work running your
own business to provide for your family.

I see love and adoration all over your face as you
read bedtime stories to the girls every night.

I see your heart of compassion as you pray
with the hurting stranger in Lancaster City.

I see the goofball in you that no one else sees
as you play the air guitar while I sing.

And I see your servants heart as you
continually express your love to me by
washing the dishes or making dinner
or taking the girls with you to run errands
or by making a special trip to the gas station to fill up my gas tank
(which you are doing right now as a matter of fact).

You are a special man. A rare find.
I am thankful for your life and thankful to be a part of it.
I pray this next year is full of adventure and fun times,
more God encounters, lots of busy days at market,
and many, many, ordinary, everyday moments
of happiness in our new home with our new addition:)

I love you.
happy birthday!


Saturday, January 15, 2011

one word 2011

So have you heard of One Word 2011?

I'm not a New Years resolution kinda girl
but when I heard this idea it appealed to me for some reason.
One Word 2011 - choose one word.
One word, YOUR word for the year.
Instead of "I resolve to go to the gym everyday and lose 20lbs"
You just choose ONE word.
This seemed easy enough to me, I can commit to one word for the year!

My word

I should have chosen an easier word!

I'm shocked how this one little word has affected my everyday life.
It's obviously been a good thing, but not an easy thing.

I've written about serving before
In fact I wrote a whole post on it!
Make Me A Servant
I have been called to serve my family--I know this.
But it's something I'm continually working on. It does not come naturally to me.
I've grown leaps and bounds but boy do I have a ways to go.
I must decide EVERYDAY to serve my family (joyfully)
unfortunately there are still (many) days I decide to serve ME and my selfish desires.

So how has my ONE WORD played into this?
Here is just one example of many:

{I cannot explain to you why this makes me so angry but it does..}
As you enter my home, you walk into a very small entrance.
Directly behind our door is a shoe rack (to put your shoes ON).
My dear husband has never once put a shoe on this rack.
He instead slips his shoes off and leaves them right in front of the door
so whoever enters next can promptly trip over them!
This happens Every. Single. Day.
And it infuriates me Every. Single. Day.
So the other day, I promptly tripped over his big, brown, smelly boot upon walking in the door.
Just as I was about to shout some not so kind words so he could hear me in the living room
I heard it. My word. SERVE.

Guess what happened next?
I did not shout or throw his boots or even mutter something under my breath.
I calmly picked up his boots and placed them on the shoe rack.
End of story.

WOW. That one word saved me from making a fool of myself by screaming at my husband
(who doesn't have a mean bone in his body) over a pair of smelly boots.
Do I wish Andy would pick up his own shoes?
But I'm called to

So go ahead,
it's not to late!
Choose a word.
I dare you.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

be quiet.

We are 4 days into the New Year
and my heart is filled with such expectancy!

I'm not sure what the Lord is up to
but I am sensing that I am stepping into something new..
(ha! obviously I'm moving and having a baby!)
But that's not what I mean,
I feel like God is preparing me for something.
But I'm ready to go deeper.
I'm ready to hear what he has to say.
I'm ready to grab hold of the promises that have been spoken over me.

In order to really press into God and hear his voice more clearly,
I need to be quiet.
I need to quiet my heart, my mind, my blog.
I'm not going to put a time frame around this,
I'm just gonna follow his voice.
When I feel like it's time, I'll be back.
2 days, 2 months, I have no idea.

I hate giving things up.
Especially my lifeline to the outside world!
But I can't ignore this feeling,
I'll see ya when I see ya!


Saturday, January 1, 2011

resolution? how about revelation

Just 3 days ago I sat here with a heaviness on my chest as I typed about my struggle with anxiety. For weeks I've been overwhelmed and consumed with my anxiety. I didn't think I had any fight in me this time around to show the devil who was boss. I just wanted to lay down and surrender. Let him win this one. It seemed much easier than fighting back.

Thankfully I'm surrounded by friends who could see I was tired and struggling and they helped me fight back. I had friends covering me in prayer! We had two dear friends stop by on Friday to pray with us. And I'll tell you what, during that prayer I could feel a change. I felt a strength come over me. I wanted to win this battle! I will not let the enemy steal my joy or take away the peace that God so desires us to live in.
This past year has been filled with so many blessings for Andy and I -- the anticipation of a new house and baby being just two of them. We have had so many wonderful things that have happened or are beginning to happen. Yet here I was living in fear, and shame, and sadness. This makes no sense?! During the prayer it hit me, the enemy is totally trying to take these blessings from me! He loves that I'm so blinded by fear and anxiety that I haven't enjoyed any of the good things that God has given to me.

Well NO more! I WILL fight back, I AM fighting back, and I WILL win. Do you know how I know I will win? Because God is on my side and he's already won! I LOVE IT!
How can I be filled with anxiety and fear with God on my side?

My life is still full of unknowns. Our housing situation is up in the air and we just recently found out that our sweet baby boy is having kidney trouble. We don't know much yet as we are waiting to meet with Maternal Fetal Medicine next week (I'll keep you posted). These two situations have had me in a total panic! To hear your baby may need surgery after delivery---let's just say I didn't take the news well.

BUT God is on my side! He can do anything, and we have boldly asked him to heal our son. We have boldly asked him to guide us as we make decisions about our house. We believe he can and will do both. But what I love even more than that is the peace he has poured over us. During the prayer time with our friends, Andy said he got a very strong feeling that everything would be okay. I could see in Andy's face that he truly believed it. God has promised us it will be okay. I don't know that it will necessarily be easy but I have that promise to hold on to when things get tough. God doesn't lie. So we are trusting and clinging to this promise.

I am writing this at 1:27am on New Years Day. I cannot think of a better way to start the New Year than with a promise from God and a renewed strength to take back what the enemy so badly wants to joy. I'm ready for the tests, and I'm ready for the refreshing that will follow. Walking through hard times is never fun but it always brings us closer to Jesus in the end. It gives us a deeper understanding of who he is. It shows us how deep his love for us really is. It brings greater revelation!

So I say more revelation, God! Show us who you are. Take us deeper still. Reveal your heart to us. We want more. I want more. That's my resolution -- more revelation! Even if it means walking through the valley for a bit. I know he is walking with me and I know he will use it all for his purposes and for his glory.

SO BRING IT 2011!!!!