Wednesday, October 31, 2012

I changed my mind about trick or treat.

I'm not a fan of Halloween for many reasons.
Some reasons are faith based
(but they are our personal beliefs so I'm not even going to go there.
 Everyone has there own beliefs and that is absolutely fine!).
I hate the excessive candy.
I hate all the money spent on extravagant costumes.
You get the point,
I'm not a fan.

So we generally don't participate in the festivities.
We have explained to our kids all the reasons and they have never fussed.
Well .. until tonight.
"It's not fair! Everyone trick-or-treats! We're the only ones not going!"

I started the whole
"well life's not fair.."

As I was spiel-ing
I started to think ..
really what's the big deal?
Should I just take them?

I caved.
We dumped out the dress up box 
and picked out our finest princess and ballerina attire!
The excitement was overwhelming!
I am totally mother of the year in their eyes after the abrupt change of heart.

So we set off.
Our first neighbor didn't have candy.
Um, lameee.
(Kidding Fishers, totally kidding!!!)

As we walked up the road I noticed a neighbor I have never introduced myself too.
I hate that. 
We live right across the street and have never said hello.
So, I said "Hi! I'm Sarah! I live in the yellow house across the street"
She was quick to share her name and quicker to invite us back to her house for candy.
(we were out by the mailbox)
We walked back and made small talk.
She gave the girls their treats and then asked if we could come in.
We went in and she gave us a tour of her cute modest home.
I noticed all of her art work and when I asked about it
she shared she had painted them all!
How did I not know this woman was an artist?
How did I not know she had a dog named Buster?
How did I live across the street for over a year and never say hello?
The girls were anxious for more treats so we made our way to the door and said goodbye.
As we continued on our candy hunt I had to think --
Yes, I have a lot of valid reasons to hate this "holiday"
but you know ..  it's just like anything else in life,
 It's what you make it.
We didn't spend any money on costumes,
we only went to a few houses so the candy was in moderation
and most importantly we made a connection with the nice woman across the street.

Life is what we make it.
We can sit inside hiding with our lights off
we can get out and let our light shine.

I have some candy to eat now.

Monday, October 15, 2012


It's Monday afternoon.
The last week and weekend have been rough.
I've been suffering from debilitating anxiety.
Debilitating as in:
I don't want to leave my husband's side ..
(poor guy)
I don't want to hang out with friends or chat on the phone.
I skipped church. 
I dread the grocery store.
On and on.

I've always suffered from anxiety but found healing 
from it a couple of years ago, through prayer and medication.
(GASP! Sarah takes medication!? Poor soul. Must be one of those crazies.)
{what's with the stigma with depression and anxiety anyway?! If I had diabetes I would control it with medication, correct? Correct. So leave your judgements here.}
This last month has been draining for me.
I realized yesterday I have been pouring out to others but not taking the time to refill and refresh myself.
I've been carrying the load of life all by myself.
That's enough to give anyone anxiety!
Last night I heard God calling.
He said "Come." 
I didn't feel like it.
Not only didn't I want to chat on the phone but I didn't want to chat with God.
Leave me alone, Lord, I just want to watch Grey's Anatomy.
He said "OK."
Then I felt bad.
OK, Lord what can I do for you?
"How about what can I do for YOU, Sarah?
I want to help. I want to carry this burden, this load.
I've been waiting for you to ask"
So I simply said,
Lord, forgive me for trying to conquer the world on my own.
I need you. I need only you. Only by your strength can I live.
Come and fill this heart with your peace.
Give me strength for tomorrow.
Be my source.
Today has been a good day.
Let him help you today.
He's just waiting for you to ask.