learning.

Andy and I have made a very conscious effort to simplify life by clearing our calendar.

It has been wonderful in every way.

Sure saying "no" can be uncomfortable at times 

but when we are home having an unhurried evening, enjoying our children

we are so thankful we chose to feel uncomfortable for that half a minute.

Clearing the calendar has meant there is a lot of time for thinking.

A lot of time.

I am learning a lot about myself.

I'm learning that I constantly search for noise.

TV, Pandora, texting, facebook, etc. etc. etc. etc.

I feel uncomfortable when it is silent. 

Yet once I get past the first minute or two it's actually quite enjoyable.

I'm learning I love to art journal.

I'm a terrible artist but I enjoy journaling with colors and doodles.

I do this every evening during our family candle time.

I'm learning my kids get on my nerves when I'm too "busy" for them.

"Why do you need your butt wiped this freaking second!?

I'm pinteresting a wonderful idea for the wine party I'm never going to have!"

**I stomp to the bathroom and acting as annoyed as possible I wipe the cute little butt.

I'm learning that I feel the need to share every thought that pops into my crazy little head.

(chuckling as I blog all these thoughts)

I keep thinking about high school.

I had NO cell phone.

No internet.

 Snapchat.

Voxer.

HOW DID I SURVIVE??

Really. 

No one ever knew all my thoughts.

They all thought I was normal.

And quiet.

I was even labeled shy.

HA!

So why now do I feel this constant urge to over share?

I really have no idea.

But I'm learning I need to keep some things sacred. 

Today as I was folding laundry Oliver pulled himself up on the basket and looked so cute.

I quickly stood to get my phone 

(which takes pictures and then can immediately be uploaded to the world).

Then I stopped.

I sat down.

I looked at his sweet slobbery smile as he chewed on a clean sock.

Oh the joy that overtook my soul.

A beautiful moment with my 9 month old son that passed too quickly

 (as he found a dead bug to chew on).

I would have missed that joy filled moment had I grabbed my phone.

I'm learning I want more of these moments.

This is going to be hard.

It will be uncomfortable.

Breaking habits always is.

But oh the joy I foresee as I cherish these sacred and fleeting moments.

I'm challenging myself to keep certain moments just for me.

Just for my family.

I'll continue to share on Facebook but I will be more careful about what and when I share.

I don't want to miss the magic of a moment so you can all see it.

I want to see it. 

And feel it.

And cherish it.