Friday, August 8, 2014

hope for the anxious.

It's been so long since I've written a blog post that I couldn't find my own blog!
Then once I found it I realized the baby in my photo is now 3
and we've added a baby!!

I'm not looking to start blogging again
I just wanted to share something and it was too long for a Facebook post.

Most of you will not care too much about this and that's fine.
But I wanted to share for the many people who have text me, 
messaged me and asked me about my journey with anxiety
as many of you are (unfortunately) on a similar journey.

I have had anxiety for as long as I can remember.
I didn't identify that it was anxiety until my 20's
but looking back it's always been there.

I somehow got labeled as "laid back" when I was young.
I guess I appear that way most of the time.
Inside however I am far from laid back!

Inside I have a feeling of a constant adrenaline rush.
It never stops.
It's exhausting.
There have been days that I feared my body would literally shut down from the exhaustion.

A few years ago I began a mild anxiety medication.
It worked wonders!
I experienced relief for the first time.

However, over the last 9 months my anxiety went from a constant 5 to a constant 10!
It was literally debilitating.
I would curl up in bed and listen to worship music for hours.
I quit the worship team because I could hardly get up on the stage to sing anymore.
(I quickly came to my senses though knowing I couldn't live without leading worship 
and begged Gary to let me back on the team!)

Things seemed dire and I told Andy I needed to do something immediately.
My body couldn't handle the endless anxiety.
I called my family doctor who prescribed me a stronger anxiety medication.
This medication turned me into a zombie.
I could hardly keep my eyes open through out the day.
Someone with 4 kids needs to keep their eyes open!

I was so discouraged and losing hope that I'd ever find relief.
I asked Andy to call Phil Haven and have me checked in.
I seriously asked him to do that.
(OK maybe I just wanted a vacay from the kids but whatever..)

With the recommendation from a dear friend we found a counselor and made an appointment.
For the record, I think EVERYONE could benefit from counseling!
Andy came with me and afterwards said,
"I didn't think I was one for counseling but I loved that!"
Talking brings healing.

The first question my counselor asked was "do you exercise regularly?"
Um. No.
His reply.
Exercise is a must for anyone struggling with anxiety (and I would imagine depression).

I went to the YMCA that night with my fitness freak father :)
It felt so good.
Andy and I joined the gym the next week.


I have been working out 5/6 days a week for 3 weeks.
My anxiety has gone from a 10 to a 2.

Why had my family doctor (who I love by the way) never suggested this?
Why was he so quick to drug me?
I think it's just what we do in America.

 For years I've searched for relief using:
and anything else that I thought would make me feel better, if even for a few short moments.

I've never experienced anything like the high I get from a good workout!
I have finally found the relief I have been searching for.

If you are struggling with anxiety or depression
I highly, highly encourage you to start a daily workout routine.
I know everyone is different and everyone's journey will look different
but I am confident that exercising will help anyone struggling with mental health.
And I am hopeful it will also get me back into my skinny jeans! HA. 

As you continue your journey and I continue mine,
I hope that the stigma of anxiety and depression can be broken.
That's a huge reason I'm even writing this. 
I KNOW for a fact I am not alone.
And there is hope and healing for all of us struggling!

I am moving forward with the help of My (loving, patient) God, my amazing husband, counselor, family and friends, prayer warriors, and my new passion for exercise!

Don't keep your struggle a secret.
Ask a trusted family member or friend to pray with you.
Seek help from a counselor who can help you work through things.
And never walk in shame because you're struggling.

OK, my baby needs to eat so I gotta run!
Then I"m off to the gym for a Warehouse Workout!!

Praying peace, healing, hope and joy over all of you who are struggling!
much love.

1 comment:

  1. Love this, Sarah! I only discovered the joy of regular intense workouts in the past couple years, but love the high and mental clarity they bring. So glad for you! (And need the reminder as I've fallen off the wagon lately!)