Monday, March 25, 2013

world changer

A stirring for missions has always been on my heart.
I see myself working in an orphanage,
feeding the homeless,
traveling the world; leading thousands in worship.
These things move me.
They excite me.
They have been my desires and prayers.
I want to make a difference.
Leave a mark.

Yet here I sit in Lancaster County.
I fold laundry.
I cook.
I clean toilets.
I tie shoes.
I sign permission slips.
I pick up toys.
Change diapers.
Give baths.
Fold laundry.
Hardly making a mark on this world.
I often get restless.
I feel useless.
Sometimes trapped.
When I asked God, recently why I cannot go on a "mission"
he clearly spoke to my heart,
"You are on a mission. 
I created this specific task for you.
I've given you these specific people to love. 
Serve them with all your heart.
Love them. 
Minister to them. 
Equip them.
For I have a specific task in mind for each of them too!"
 I'm not running an orphanage in Guatemala - 
but I have 3 children who need tender love and care.
I may not be feeding the homeless -
 but I have 4 mouths right here to feed.
I may not be a well known worship leader - 
but I sing Jesus Loves Me every night to a captive audience.

 It can seem small.
It can be hard.
It can make you bang your head on the kitchen counter.
(I can't be the only one who does that)
{My sweet, dear children can turn me into an absolute lunatic!
A nice game of Candy land can quickly turn into crying kids 
and a screaming mom, who throws the game in the box and says "forget it!"
And making brownies with ones children .. well that can drive a mother to drink!}

 Story time:
I was cooking with my kids.
They were making me curse under my breath.
I felt my blood pressure rising.
I stopped, 
turned away from the kids,
closed my eyes,
 and silently said
"OK Jesus, now. 
This is when I need you. 
Right. Now. 
Please help."
I trust he knew exactly what I needed.
No one was injured during the rest of the task
and we even enjoyed it.
That is God at work, people.
He is using this mission field to work in my heart.
To teach me as I teach them.
To stretch me.
To show me what it really means to serve.
To love.

I'm learning to love this mission.
I'm allowing him to work in me instead of protesting.
I'm embracing this enormous task!
I have the ability 
(with the Lords help and guidance)
to raise 
Humble, servants who lead by love.
And where will they learn to love?
Right here.
 My sphere of influence may not be large,
 but my influence on the people inside these 4 walls is enormous.
I can make the biggest mark,
leave the greatest legacy,
by simply loving the ones in my home, first.




1 comment:

  1. Thank you for writing exactly what I'm feeling! YES = mission trip
    NO = sitting around all day with my children
    But I'm trying, I'm struggling, I'm refereeing and I'm not sure that there is ever a winner... maybe in the whining category!
    This too shall pass I hear constantly in my mind and I know as the years press on and my children grow it will be time for that mission trip!