Tuesday, May 24, 2011

back in the game

It's been a while since I've written
{really written}.

I've been silent not only on my blog but in general.

This last year has been hard.
Nothing totally devastating has happened but
a lot of little things have definitely taken their toll on my spirit.

As I've been pondering and praying this past week,
I've realized I have let my guard down.

Have you ever come through a season of life
where God was just totally moving?
You witnessed miracles! Received answers to prayer after prayer.
You felt passionate and on fire,
wanting to tell every person you encountered
about the love of Christ!

I was just in that place!
I was taking part in street ministry,
I was praying for random people at the grocery store!
I witnessed healing after healing!

What happened?

There are days I hardly feel like going to church
let alone doing street ministry.
There are days I wonder how in the world can I lead worship
when I can't sing the songs with the authority and passion I once had.

What happened?
I got comfortable.
I got lazy.
I got busy.

As soon as my guard came down,
the enemy was quick to attack.
It doesn't take much for the enemy to grab hold of us.
He knows our weaknesses,
he knows what distracts us.
And he's sneaky.
I didn't realize just how close he had gotten.

But it has become quite clear he is here and he is on a mission.
He is determined to steal my joy.
He is determined to kill my passion for Christ.
And he is determined to destroy my marriage, my ministry, my focus.

He loves that my focus is on Sarah, not Jesus.
He loves that I'm so caught up in my own problems
that I'm not gonna stop and pray for someone else's.
He loves that he has stolen my joy as I lead worship
and has replaced it with fear and anxiety.

But God is good.
He has been stirring my heart.
He has reminded me that he is still moving!
He is still doing miracles!
He is still answering prayers!
He is still healing the sick!
And he still wants to use me.

He's just waiting for me to jump back into the game!

I'm ready.

Awaken my heart Lord.
Fill me with a passion for you.
Light a fire in my soul.
Strengthen me for the battle.
Silence the enemy.
Speak your truth to my spirit.
Show me your heart.

This is not only my prayer for myself but my prayer for you.


  1. Oh how easy it is to take our eyes off Him and focus on ourselves! Delighted that He is reawakening your spirit. {{{hugs}}}