goodbye world.

So maybe my title is a bit dramatic.

Maybe it should say goodbye facebook world.

I like to be dramatic though.

And I'm only saying goodbye for a short time

(at least I think).

God is calling me out of my comfort zone.

My comfort zone has always been on the stage.

With a microphone.

It feels like my home.

Where I belong.

On Sunday as we gathered with our church family to worship,

my heart ached to be on that stage leading.

But God said, 

"not right now, Sarah."

*sob*

Instead he is calling me to the most uncomfortable thing I can imagine.

SILENCE.

Just looking at that word sends a mild panic attack through my body.

Silence is so boring.

It's lonely.

Did I say boring?

I like fun!

I like parties!

And dancing!

And silliness!

I like small talk and chit chat!

I like updating my status and interacting with you all!

But alas.

God is asking me to retreat into solitude.

I think this will truly be one of my greatest tests!

It may be one of Andy's too since he'll have to hear all of the things I usually share with you!

#PrayForAndy

I'll leave my page up for a week so you can all digest this shocking news.

Or because I'm just not quite ready and I'm stalling...

I plan to be logged off until after Christmas.

So. Here are a few things I would have probably shared if I was on facebook:

*We are hosting thanksgiving in one hour and I'm still in my pajamas!

(oh wait. that was my status last thanksgiving.)

*10 years ago today our beautiful daughter was born. Where has the time gone?

Happy Birthday Sophie!

   ~insert adorable photo~

*Great night at the gym flipping some tires and doing some pushups!

 ~insert badass photo of myself~

*Photo of our Christmas tree

oh that reminds me...

*For the sake of our new simple life we will not be doing Christmas cards this year so:

Merry Christmas from The Bylers!

I think that covers the major events.

Although I'm hesitant and afraid

I know the Lord only wants the absolute best for me.

There is a reason behind of all of this and I know it is good.

Because my God is good.

I'm excited to see whatever it is he wants to show me.

So long my friends!

Well...in a week.... 

learning.

Andy and I have made a very conscious effort to simplify life by clearing our calendar.

It has been wonderful in every way.

Sure saying "no" can be uncomfortable at times 

but when we are home having an unhurried evening, enjoying our children

we are so thankful we chose to feel uncomfortable for that half a minute.

Clearing the calendar has meant there is a lot of time for thinking.

A lot of time.

I am learning a lot about myself.

I'm learning that I constantly search for noise.

TV, Pandora, texting, facebook, etc. etc. etc. etc.

I feel uncomfortable when it is silent. 

Yet once I get past the first minute or two it's actually quite enjoyable.

I'm learning I love to art journal.

I'm a terrible artist but I enjoy journaling with colors and doodles.

I do this every evening during our family candle time.

I'm learning my kids get on my nerves when I'm too "busy" for them.

"Why do you need your butt wiped this freaking second!?

I'm pinteresting a wonderful idea for the wine party I'm never going to have!"

**I stomp to the bathroom and acting as annoyed as possible I wipe the cute little butt.

I'm learning that I feel the need to share every thought that pops into my crazy little head.

(chuckling as I blog all these thoughts)

I keep thinking about high school.

I had NO cell phone.

No internet.

 Snapchat.

Voxer.

HOW DID I SURVIVE??

Really. 

No one ever knew all my thoughts.

They all thought I was normal.

And quiet.

I was even labeled shy.

HA!

So why now do I feel this constant urge to over share?

I really have no idea.

But I'm learning I need to keep some things sacred. 

Today as I was folding laundry Oliver pulled himself up on the basket and looked so cute.

I quickly stood to get my phone 

(which takes pictures and then can immediately be uploaded to the world).

Then I stopped.

I sat down.

I looked at his sweet slobbery smile as he chewed on a clean sock.

Oh the joy that overtook my soul.

A beautiful moment with my 9 month old son that passed too quickly

 (as he found a dead bug to chew on).

I would have missed that joy filled moment had I grabbed my phone.

I'm learning I want more of these moments.

This is going to be hard.

It will be uncomfortable.

Breaking habits always is.

But oh the joy I foresee as I cherish these sacred and fleeting moments.

I'm challenging myself to keep certain moments just for me.

Just for my family.

I'll continue to share on Facebook but I will be more careful about what and when I share.

I don't want to miss the magic of a moment so you can all see it.

I want to see it. 

And feel it.

And cherish it.